Valentine’s Day…It came and went without a hitch…I know that because I saw it posted everywhere…on the feeds of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter…and I’m pretty certain every other media platform. Happy pictures of happy couples, little heart filters decorating profile pictures, status updates of love stories, sentiments, and declarations of undying love, pictures of gifts given and received…tokens of love and affection.
And while it’s all good and great to celebrate love…somehow I just wasn’t buying into all of it this year. Maybe it’s because it was on a Tuesday (a busy night for this household with students coming and going for music lessons), maybe it’s because I was feeling physically run-down with a headache and achy in general, or maybe it was because all of those love declarations out there on display for the general public to see hit me as more of a competition…a who-did-it-better moment.
Please forgive me if I’m stepping on toes here…and hey…I’ve put my fair share of “love declaration” posts out there myself…but I’m just saying…and maybe it was just for me…but perhaps we need to look less at everyone else’s love story, and focus more on our own. We all like a happy love story, whether it’s real life or the movies (which are totally not true to life just in case you’re still day-dreaming about that last rom-com you saw and how that could totally be you one day), but we don’t all like to look at the regular day’s…the one’s where real love is worked out…when it’s tough…and the good feelings aren’t necessarily there…when love means choosing to believe the best in one another…when it means not getting our own way….those days that pave the way for the “feel-good” day’s. Sometimes in the over-saturation of everyone else’s stories we can be too quick to disregard our own, too quick to take the happy posts at face value – forgetting all of the hard work of love that takes place under the surface…and ladies…please don’t tell me I’m the only one out there that’s seen those “love posts” by the men-folk and thought “well why doesn’t my husband do that?”…seriously girls….we’ve just gotta stop it (I’m talking to me here too)! The comparing – it’s not fair to our husbands, to ourselves, or to our marriages. It surely doesn’t cause us to believe the best in one another…either of our own marriage or of the one’s we’re comparing to…and it doesn’t lead us down the path of thankfulness to see all that we do possess in our own relationship. Comparison will only ever make us ungrateful and miserable and those are definitely two words we don’t want in our love stories.
So while I admittedly have wrestled with these things in my heart from time to time (and felt absolutely ridiculous doing so at the time), I’m also incredibly thankful for my own love story and that we don’t have to save our celebrations for one day only….we celebrate it with every word spoken and every action done in love…on both the happy heart days and the working-it-out days…and only then, without taking away from our own story, will we truly be able to celebrate each other’s stories.
(Oh and just for the record – my super thoughtful husband did give roses to myself, our three children, and to his own two sisters. Aaaannnnnd…made me a super tasty steak dinner on the weekend. #grateful #thankful #blessed – not that I’m bragging or anything 😉 )